Read it for the comments

Here is a post from Shamus Young about SecuROM. But I’m linking it because of the comments.

Some highlights:

GAZZA:

Oh yeah, SecuROM will eat your babies, torture your cats, and drink the last of the coffee without making a fresh pot.

It will reply to spam messages on your behalf, post naked photographs of you on youtube, and declare war on a random oil-producing country.

It will sign you up to Reader’s Digest.

It will convert all your MP3s to Britney Spears albums, and then inform the RIAA that you’re filesharing them.

It will cause Ragnarok.

Every instance of SecuROM increases the effects of global warming. By a lot.

Millions of SecuROM instances have secretly taken over large arrays of radio telescopes and are busy beaming taunting messages to highly advanced hostile aliens.

And if you tell the punters all that – they won’t believe you.

 

Bowmore:

SecuROM logs into your account on your MMO of choice, deletes all your characters, and replaces them with level 1 bardomancers.

 

BlackJaw:

It’s True!

SecuRom stole my girlfriend.
SecuRom drives in the HOV lane illegally.
SecuRom votes for nanny laws.
SecuRom is why we only have State Run Liqueur Stores in WA.
SecuRom caused global warming to wipe out polar bears (they are clearly software pirates too.)
SecuRom lied about the cake.
SecuRom made 54% of all known Lolcat images.
SecuRom crank called my grandma at 3am.
SecuRom accused Chuck Norris of piracy.
SecuRom wrote a law allowing gay marriage just so he could vote against it.
SecuRom started the Great Chicago Fire and total framed that cow.
SecuRom runs secret mind control opps for the CIA.
SecuRom is why Hon Shot Last!
SecuRom invaded Georgia.
SecuRom made me do it!

 

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